if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
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Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
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i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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