They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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