I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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