pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
