I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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