Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize