My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
