Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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