Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize