Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
