his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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