So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
