My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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