I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
