i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
