ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You were trust falling into bushes
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
