How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
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You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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