I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sext me about skeletons
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
