OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
