sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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