i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
third nipple confirmed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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