Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
