How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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