No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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