they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
