Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I did not marry a roomba.
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