I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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