it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
two words...techno handjob
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
