I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
