Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
North Korea, Best Korea!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i've created a new STD.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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