So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
