I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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