Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize