Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just invented taco cereal.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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