I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize