Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize