First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I understand Curling. That high.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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