ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think people are normalizing furries
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize