I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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