ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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