Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize