I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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