I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
