He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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