Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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