my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize