wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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