How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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