I think I died a long time ago.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
