it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize