We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
