it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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