So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The Olympian is in my bed
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize