You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize