oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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