So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
