will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
