dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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