Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
